The 'Wait' Rule

How to complete The 'Wait' Rule

Anger and impulse peak fast and fade fast; this is about putting a 10-minute gap between the surge and your response so the reaction comes from you, not your adrenaline. One delayed reply can save a relationship, a job, or a reputation.

1. The moment you notice the heat rising, name it silently: 'I'm activated right now.'
2. Physically remove yourself or your hands from the trigger, close the message draft, leave the room, put the phone down.
3. Set a literal 10-minute timer and do something with your body, walk, breathe, get water.
4. When the timer ends, decide whether the thing still needs a response at all, and if so, write it from the calmer state.

Tips

• Most of the time, after 10 minutes you'll find the reply you almost sent would have made things worse.
• If you can't leave physically, save the angry message as a draft and refuse to hit send until the timer's done.
• The win is the waiting, not staying silent forever; you can still address it, just not while flooded.

What counts as done

You felt a real spike of anger or urge to react, held off for a full 10 minutes, and responded (or chose not to) from a calmer place.