The Great Compromise

How to complete The Great Compromise

This is resolving a genuinely big disagreement, like where to live, money, or kids, in a way you both can stand behind, not one person caving. The win is a durable agreement reached together, not a temporary truce.

1. Name the actual underlying need behind each position, not just the stated demand
2. State what you each truly cannot give up versus what is flexible
3. Brainstorm options out loud without judging them, aiming for a third path neither started with
4. Write down the agreement in plain terms, including who does what and by when
5. Set a date to revisit and adjust if reality differs from the plan

Tips

• If one of you secretly resents the outcome, it isn't a compromise; it'll resurface
• Tackle it rested and unhurried, never mid-argument at midnight
• Trade on what each values most rather than splitting everything 50/50

What counts as done

Both of you can describe the agreement the same way and feel it's fair, weeks later.